


How To Be a Fake Heartbreaker

by SonneKa



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Multi, One Shot, Pretend Date, a little bit of feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 01:24:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8691097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonneKa/pseuds/SonneKa
Summary: “So… you don’t have a date for tonight?”
That damn question was able to kill him, his heart even gave a jump. And not knowing what to say, without even stopping for a second to think about the answer, he immediately said: “Of course I have a date! I won’t be the only one alone!”
“O-okay…” Hinata dry swallowed, doubting that even Souda could fall for that lie. Didn’t he notice how much he was panicking? “So, tell me, who’s she?”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Second and last fic I wrote for the KomaHina Secret Exchange!! (Another gift for questing-beast on tumblr :D)
> 
> Prompt: Pretend Date AU
> 
> I wrote SO much, I can't believe it. But I really like how this turned out, so I won't complain haha.
> 
> Hope you like it!! ♥

“Are you serious!?” Hinata snapped, his question coming out from his mouth so loud that even the customers near him got scared. Coffee shops were meant to chat with friends or being quiet alone, but not for shouting at your friend on the phone. “You’ll bring Sonia-san tonight? But she…”

_She never liked you to begin with… Did she change her mind? So suddenly!?_

Hinata was so frustrated, anxiety flooding him. Every Friday night he went out with his friends to a popular bar near college, and it wasn’t a big of a deal for him. He knew some of his friends had their own girlfriends, and he didn’t have any problems with them for bringing the girls. Really, it was pretty fine. He was single but not the only one without date on Friday nights, his best friend Kazuichi Souda was as alone as him.

Anyway, it seemed like that Friday night was going to be different.

“Listen, I don’t know how the hell she agreed to a date with you. I’m not mad, really. But…” He was nervous, nervous like never before.

“You don’t have a date?” Souda asked and Hinata bit his bottom lip, knowing there was no way his friend would notice it from the other side of the phone. “Look, it can’t be so difficult!”

“Yeah, I guess...” He didn’t want to sound upset but he was feeling pretty angry to make his voice sound otherwise.

“And you’re always surrounded by girls, really, why have you never brought one of those with us?”

Hinata froze.

Yeah, he had a few female friends. But they were just that: _friends_. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was pathetic when it came to love.

His female best friend, Chiaki Nanami, was too occupied with her videogames to give him a chance, so he had to give up. Mikan Tsumiki, who he shared some classes with, was too shy to even share a proper conversation with him. Mahiru Koizumi was nice, but when she was angry it kind of scared Hinata. Sonia Nevermind was now Souda’s date for the night, but, even so, she was way too perfect and Hinata felt like a dirty rat in front of her. Ibuki Mioda was nice and funny, but she was a really good friend and he’d never try to go further with her.

And… He didn’t have anyone else.

Yeah, he could call any of those girls but…

_Shit…_

In the end, he wasn’t so close to them to even call them. Yeah, his male friends really thought he had all the girls by his side but, actually, he was the one who made it sound like that when it wasn’t so true in the end…

“Hey, Hinata…” Souda snapped Hinata out of his thoughts, he was so nervous…

“S-Sorry… I-I spaced out.” His voice cracked, and he was still waiting for his coffee to come to his table. He needed to drink something quickly to calm down, the ambience inside the coffee shop was getting him even more anxious. He wanted to drink something and runaway.

“So… you don’t have a date for tonight?”

That damn question was able to kill him, his heart even gave a jump. And not knowing what to say, without even stopping for a second to think about the answer, he immediately said: “Of course I have a date! I won’t be the only one alone!”

“O-okay…” Hinata dry swallowed, doubting that even Souda could fall for that lie. Didn’t he notice how much he was panicking? “So, tell me, who’s she?”

And he was waiting that question to come too, though it terrified him. “It’s… complicated. I better tell you later.” He noticed that one of the waiters was bringing his coffee, finally. He needed to calm himself down a little. “But, don’t worry, I’ll bring someone for sure.” He could tell he was sweating, but it wasn’t like Souda would know at all…

He wouldn’t have had the opportunity to lie if his friend had been there, in front of him, asking the same question. Hinata was really bad at lying after all.

“You are the worried one here,” Souda laughed. “Anyways, see you at the spot tonight!”

And as soon as he cut the call, Hinata sighed heavily.

_Crap…_

And now all the things he said dawned on him. He lied saying he had a date for that night and there was no turning back now. He couldn’t go alone because: First, it’d be bad if he was the only one alone. And second, everyone would know he lied.

He grabbed his head with both hands, elbows on the table. He felt so bad, what was he going to do?

Immediately, he took his phone again to search for Nanami’s number. Maybe she was the only one he could actually rely on…

But he hesitated, and stopped. Of course it would be a bad idea, all his friends knew she was his best friend. Again, he sighed frustrated.

He was lost.

_Well… Maybe it can’t be so bad if I take her anyways…_

With his phone in hand, Hinata started searching for Nanami’s number on his contacts list. She was her last hope, maybe…

“You seem kind of stressed.” A voice came from next to him, and when he lifted his head he found a waiter bringing an order to his table. Hinata raised an eyebrow in confusion and blinked twice, he had seen that waiter before.

A boy around his age with wavy white hair, grey eyes and always smiling carefree at customers. As Hinata always visited that coffee shop, he already knew about him by sight. Anyway, they never shared a conversation before and… he’d never even took his order before to begin with. So… what was he doing there? Why was he talking to him?

_…_

“What?” Hinata asked the only question in mind, still a little bit angry and dazed.

“Oh, I didn’t want to disturb you, my apologies. It’s just that you sounded really nervous while talking to the phone…” without any hint of shame, the waiter started placing Hinata’s order on the table, but the latter couldn’t stay calmed at all.

“It’s none of your business, you know.” He knew that his voice became louder and nervous while talking to Souda, and now he was kind of embarrassed that he even got heard… “But, wait, you were listening!?”

“I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t help it. I was bringing your order and you were there shouting at the phone saying that you sure had a date for tonight but… hey, you seem too nervous about it.”

Again, Hinata stared dumbfounded at the other boy. He was talking so serious and carefree about the situation, like ‘yeah, I listened to every single thing you were saying, isn’t that normal?’, and he just couldn’t get it. “As I said before, it’s none of your business. You shouldn’t be out there hearing other people’s conversations.”

“Yeah, I don’t deserve hearing what other people say, you’re right,” he sounded disappointed for the first time. “But, at the same time, I just can’t let customers’ _hopes_ crush like that.”

Again, Hinata didn’t understand anything. “… What?”

“You feel hopeless don’t you?” the waiter kept his posture, stood still next to Hinata’s chair and giving him a gentle smile.

“How can you know what I feel? It’s none of your—“

“You said you have a date but actually you don’t have one, right?” and then Hinata’s eyes widened like never before. “Oh… Did I hit the bull’s eye?”

Why was he letting an unknown get so close to him like that? Was that guy allowed to do that in the first place? “I…”

He just felt so embarrassed, frustrated, and it was going to become pretty difficult running away from that problem: a date he didn’t have.

“Mmm…” the white haired boy wandered, lost in thought, “Don’t let this despair you’re feeling take over you, hope always wins after all!”

“Stop talking like that, it doesn’t help.” What could certainly help instead, it was running away from there. But it was Hinata’s favourite coffee shop near campus and running away mad wouldn’t be polite at all.

That was what he had to be: polite. Even when the waiter wanted to be his psychologist and tried to make him have ‘hope’.

_This is ridiculous…_

“Well…” the other started talking again. “I can help if you want to!”

Hinata still didn’t know why so much persistence, was it really necessary? What was the point? “Why would you want to help me? And how?”

What would he say now? ‘Believe in hope’ or something like that? Wow, how helpful…

Hinata clicked his tongue, and decided the conversation was going nowhere and that he had to stop it. “You know? Just… forget everything that just hap—“

“I could be your date.”

For the millionth time in the day, Hinata froze.

“W-Why would you be my date?” _What’s the purpose? Are you having fun of me?_ But it wasn’t like he could make those two last questions come out from his mouth, he was stunned…

_This is a joke, isn’t it? Where are the cameras? Am I on TV or what?_

“There’s no particular reason, I just don’t have much to do and I’d be honoured to help a student from Hope’s Peak University, besides, you’re an usual customer so you’re not a stranger at all.”

Weird. That was how Hinata described the whole situation, with just one word. A waiter from his favourite coffee shop wanted to be his date for the night… a _male_ waiter. He was just too surprised and confused to even answer, he just kept his gaze focused him, trying to get his thoughts together.

“Oh… Sorry, I didn’t mean saying that I’d be your actual date, I’m such an idiot for not being able to explain myself properly…” The waiter’s pale cheeks blushed a little, and Hinata realized he wasn’t the only one embarrassed after all. “What I wanted to say, is that I could _pretend_ being your date just for tonight? So you wouldn’t have to struggle to find someone and everything would be easier for you, wouldn’t it?”

It was a good idea, he couldn’t deny it. Hinata was sure that if that guy were a girl, he wouldn’t even think twice and would agree the offer as soon as possible. But that wasn’t how things were now, so there was no point in thinking about what ifs.

Weird, sudden… he still didn’t get the situation. Like, he was still trying to get the puzzle done in his head, but everything wasn’t making any sense at all.

Maybe there were some things that didn’t need to make sense.

What could possibly go wrong? It was easier to pretend going out with a guy for just one night than inviting a girl to go out on a forced and serious first date. So…

“Maybe… I don’t mind if you…” words just were difficult to pronounce. “Okay, it can be fun so, why not?”

Even if that was the answer the other seemed to be waiting for so long, his eyes widened as if it were really surprising.

_Crap. What if it had just been a joke and I took it seriously? You suck, Hajime…_

He then tried to apology, feeling even more ashamed than before. “Umm, sorry… It was jus—“

“Great!” the other boy suddenly snapped and, fortunately, stopped Hinata’s regrets. “Just tell me what to do and I’ll be a perfect actor!” He then sat on the seat in front of Hinata. He seemed so excited about the whole situation, as if he were given the role of his favourite character in a movie.

“Mmmm… You don’t have to work first?” Hinata glanced the whole place, there weren’t so many people there but… it was his job and he was certainly sure the other was being too free from it.

“Don’t worry, it’s about to be my break,” he pointed with his arm at the big clock on the wall, and Hinata nodded, a little bit nervous yet. “Oh, and I haven’t introduced myself until now! How disrespectful of me. I’m Nagito Komaeda, nice to meet you.”

The waiter, Komaeda, extended his arm across the table, waiting for Hinata to introduce himself too with handshake. “And I’m Hajime Hinata, nice to meet you too.” He could barely move his arms, they were still shaking nervously, but he grabbed the other’s hand politely anyway.

It was weird, though. Introducing himself after arranging the date.

Yeah, he was pathetic when it came to that kind of stuff.

 

* * *

 

His anxiety and nervousness started fading away once he got immersed in the conversation with Komaeda. He was so carefree and a pacific aura surrounded him, it could make Hinata’s worries go away, and they did.

However, he was kind of preoccupied when it came to Komaeda’s features. His skin was pale but not in a good sense. It seemed pretty unhealthy, colourless. His hair was white and wild, it was weird but looked kind of cute for Hinata too. And his eyes were green, but it felt as if their colour were fading, giving its tone hints of grey too. The only part of his body that seemed healthy, for Hinata’s eyes, was his mouth.

Komaeda’s bright smile was the reason why Hinata was so relaxed while talking to him. Because when he laughed, he was colourful.

They spent a lot of time together, but Hinata didn’t know how much. Actually, he didn’t even tried to ask Komaeda when his break was going to be over. But they kept on talking about a lot of things, interesting ones, and time surely flew. They had to get to know each other better, after all, that night they had to pretend being on a date.

When that idea crossed Hinata’s mind, the moment he started thinking deeper about it, he got a little bit nervous. What would his friends say? Would they ask him if he were gay? He seriously didn’t want to answer those kind of questions at all…

But, in the end, he knew Komaeda was nothing more than an actor being his partner on stage just for that night. Nothing more, nothing less.

Despite that, he got to know a lot about him.

Komaeda worked at that coffee shop near Hope’s Peak University campus, but he wasn’t a student from there. He was maybe the only one working in the shop who wasn’t studying at Hope’s Peak. In fact, he told Hinata he “didn’t deserve studying at such prestigious university” and that he “was happy by just watching hopeful students coming out from classes and studying at the coffee shop”. It was a weird point of view, mostly because Hinata really admired Hope’s Peak but wouldn’t feel proud or happy by just watching people studying while he didn’t…

In the end, yes, Komaeda’s point of view was the strange one. Always talking about “hope” and about how “lucky” he was to have the job at the coffee shop, or how lucky he was in any kind of situation...

Key words for Komaeda: Luck and Hope.

And he really was happy, his big smile showed exactly how much he enjoyed his job and, maybe, now spending time with Hinata too.

Everything was going to be great if Komaeda kept talking about himself, even if he could be pretty tiring when talking about hope and stuff like that… he was interesting anyway. But when the conversation turned around and Hinata had to start talking about himself too, he had to admit he didn’t feel as comfortable as when listening the other one speak.

Komaeda was kind of harsh with himself while talking, saying he was “trash” and “useless” nonstop even when Hinata tried to convince him it wasn’t like that, because he really meant it. But, in the other hand, Hinata wasn’t confident about himself either. So, who was him to judge?

“I don’t have anything interesting to say, anyway…” He tried to take a sip to the cup of coffee in front of him, but soon realized it was empty. For how long have they been talking?

“Oh, don’t say that! I’m sure you have lots of amazing things to talk about”. Komaeda was harsh to himself, yes. But when it came to other people, he could be a really good adviser. And he didn’t do much, with just a few words and a smile it was enough to make anyone feel a little bit better about themselves.

He seemed pretty reliable, maybe too much to be the first time talking. But Hinata couldn’t help himself from trusting him. After all, Komaeda was going to help him that night… “No, I don’t do any kind of amazing stuff. In the end, I was so stupid I couldn’t even tell my friend I didn’t have a date… And I didn’t even have the guts to ask any girl out, so I’m nothing more than an idiot.”

At that low self-esteem comment, Komaeda’s face became unreadable. But, even if Hinata couldn’t know what he was thinking, he felt how Komaeda’s colours started fading away again. “I… I’m sure you still can ask any girl out if you want to.”

Hinata shook his head. “No, I can’t. It’s fine with just going out with you. I’m sure I’ll screw it up if I try to invite a girl, you know.” He smiled, genuinely smiling, an attempt to make Komaeda know that it was really okay for him to be his date for the night.

 “Mmm, if you say so…” his voice lighted up and, having his elbows on the table, he cupped his cheeks with both hands to cover his face. Though Hinata could notice a tiny flush behind them. “Just, don’t despair! Everything will turn out alright. You don’t have to be so worried.”

Again, his smile was so bright Hinata couldn’t help but returning it, gladly. Maybe it wasn’t going to be so difficult, having Komaeda by his side only brought him peace, and he hoped that feeling would stay also during the night.

It was crazy. He would have never thought he’d be on a pretend date, he would have never thought that he’d go to one with another guy, and he still didn’t think it was the easiest situation in the world for him. But he was with Komaeda, and everything seemed clearer and simpler with him by his side.

What could possibly go wrong then?

 

* * *

 

Around an hour later, Hinata could go back to his dorm. He told Komaeda to meet at the bus stop next to Hope’s Peak entrance at 10:30 pm, and then they’d go together to meet the others. Just thinking about that was enough to make him feel dizzy.

As soon as he reached his bed, he didn’t think twice before jumping into it. He felt so mentally exhausted, too many unexpected things happened in just a day and it wasn’t even over yet.

Before Souda’s call, everything was as mundane as always. He came out from classes, went to his favourite coffee shop around campus, and planned all the things he could do next. Like, when he came back to his room he would be doing homework or something like that, and then he would prepare for going out with his friends.

But it didn’t turn out like that, and he wasn’t the best at improvising. Anyway, he miraculously got some help. He had to thank Komaeda for that, and he’d surely do it later. But it still wasn’t going to be easy because…

He had to act like he really was Komaeda’s date, and not in a friendly manner.

He couldn’t help dry swallowing at the thought, it was going to be a long night and, now, he only needed to rest and get his thoughts together. But at the exact moment he finally could close his eyes and relax, his mobile phone started ringing.

Hinata sighed heavily, it seemed like the nightmare couldn’t be paused even for just a minute. Who was calling? Souda? It would be okay if he told him he wasn’t going to bring Sonia with him in the end, but that was too much to ask.

However, it wasn’t Souda the one calling and Hinata opened his eyes surprised while answered the call as soon as possible. “Nanami?”

She almost never called, well, she had never called Hinata before. “Hey… Are you okay?”

Again, he thought someone was really watching all his actions because, how would she know he was everything but okay? “Why do you ask?” he chuckled, a little bit nervous.

“You called me. But I didn’t answer because I was playing, sorry.” Hinata froze.

“I-I never called you,” but he tried to rewind in time just to remember he actually was about to call her or send her a message about the whole situation before Komaeda appeared. “Oh, right, I remember. It might have been an accident, but yes… I was going to call you.”

“What happened?” She sounded kind of preoccupied, though her voice was as quiet as usual. Hinata could hear from the other side of the phone some typing sounds and battle ones too. Oh, right, Nanami should be playing while talking to him, how kind of her.

So, he didn’t have any other choice but to tell her the truth. “Well, _a lot_ happened today. Souda called saying he was bringing Sonia-san with him tonight and I—”

“Sonia was dating Tanaka-kun, I think…” Nanami interrupted, even if that wasn’t the important part of the situation.

“Y-Yeah… but I don’t know him and… that’s not the point!” He kind of laughed because, though Nanami was a really good adviser, she used to get lost in conversations pretty easily. Now maybe because she was playing videogames while talking, all at the same time.

“You were mad because Souda-kun got a date with Sonia then?” she sounded so serious that Hinata didn’t know if he should get mad or laugh.

“No! The problem was that I was going to be the only one alone tonight because of that! But… I-I told Souda I had a date too but, you know, I didn’t really have one.” It was so embarrassing for him to explain that kind of stuff, he could feel hot rising to his face.

“If you called me to help you, I’m sorry. I’m having a big videogame tournament tonight and I won’t go out.”

Well, at least he got to know Nanami couldn’t have been an option in the end. “But I didn’t call you for that, though.” A little lie couldn’t be so bad, in comparison to the one he made before…

“Then, what happened?” she sounded more than curious.

“That… I got a date.” Well, better said… “I mean, someone offered to be my fake date tonight.” And better said… “A _guy_ from the coffee shop we always go wanted to be my date.”

“…” _Crap…_ He just wanted an answer from Nanami, any kind. “Oh… Wow.”

“’Wow’? Just that?” Hinata didn’t even know what to feel about it.

“Sorry, I just didn’t expect that.” Her voice kept her usual tone, but Hinata could tell she was surprised. “And what did you do?”

“I… agreed?” it was getting difficult talking about that. “I-I didn’t have any other choice in the end, you know. Besides, it’s just for show.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Silence.

_What does she mean? W-Why wouldn’t it be just for show?_

It was just like he said, Komaeda was his only option that night, what else could he do about that? It was just one night of pretending, nothing more. “I…” But, even though he felt so sure about that, his tongue seemed tied up.

“I mean, are you sure about what you’re doing? Don’t you think they are going to notice?”

Oh, so that’s what the question was about. Hinata relaxed a little bit, what the hell was he thinking? “O-Oh, d-don’t worry, I guess it’ll be alright.”

“If you say so…” Hinata couldn’t tell if she was convinced or not.

“I’ll text you or call you if something happens, don’t you mind?” He really needed that support, because she was the only one who could keep him in line, she was really a good friend and he’d need her more than anyone that night. Well, Komaeda was very important too, of course. What would he be doing right now without him after all?

“It’s okay, I’ll have the phone near the computer. If I don’t answer, it’s because the game is being difficult…”

“Don’t worry, I don’t really think something too bad could happen. So I’ll surely won’t call you in the end.”

They talked about a few more things, mostly about games and stuff like that, until Hinata decided it was time to hang up the phone and sleep for an hour at least. He had to be ready for that night’s spectacle. He’d be the principal character and Komaeda his partner. That was an easy and comforting way of thinking about the whole situation itself.

 

* * *

 

Hinata had his phone in hand, while resting his back on the wall just behind the bus stop’s spot. He then realized it could have been a good idea asking Komaeda for his mobile phone number, but he’d forgot about that and it was too late for regrets. No matter how much he looked to his sides, he didn’t see him anywhere.

He had to be arriving soon, it was almost 10:30 pm after all…

But his anxiety attacked again.

_What if he doesn’t come?_

_What if everything was seriously a joke in the end?_

_…_

_Why am I so stupid?_

He was shaking, time passed by so slowly he thought he would die from waiting. Until he heard someone calling him. “Hinata-kun!” he turned his gaze towards where the voice was coming from, finding Komaeda getting closer to him while waving.

He couldn’t help sighing, relieved. At least they could get through the first step: meeting, and at least Hinata could assure everything wasn’t a joke at all.

Komaeda seemed relaxed though, and it would make everything easier. Hinata couldn’t take his eyes off him, since he only knew how the other looked like with his worker outfit at the coffee shop and, obviously, he wasn’t dressed like that now.

He was wearing a long green coat and a white t-shirt, his collarbones were pretty exposed, showing how pale and thin he really was. It was kind of attractive, though, nobody could deny that fact.

“Hinata?” Komaeda claimed again, snapping Hinata out of his thoughts.

 “S-Sorry, mmm… Hi.” It was about time to become more confident. Having a carefree Komaeda by his side would make everything less complicated, he knew that.

“Okay, then… Where are we going?”

“Didn’t I tell you?” Hinata’s eyes widened. “Well, the guys are on the bus now and they’ll tell me when they’re arriving so we can go on the same as theirs, get it? And, afterwards, we’ll go to a bar which is ten minutes from here.”

“Ohh, that’s it…” Komaeda put both hands in the pockets of his coat, it certainly was a little bit cold outside.

“Err… Are you okay with that?”

He felt such an idiot because he actually forgot to tell Komaeda where they were going... They talked so much about themselves but kind of forgetting why they were doing that in the first place. What if he… wasn’t really okay with the place?

Hinata felt a little bit afraid about it, because the other seemed disappointed by just looking at his face.

“Don’t worry, Hinata-kun, I’m not used to being in crowded places, that’s all. But I’ll be with you so I won’t mind.” Komaeda reassured with one of his usual smiles, and Hinata felt better about it.

“Yeah… I’ll be with _you_.” It sounded weird, anyway.

But he didn’t have other choice, what kind of date would it be if he left the other behind because of his friends? Yes, he could talk with them while being with Komaeda, and he was sure that the latter wouldn’t have any problem in talking with the others too.

Then his phone rang, a message from Souda popped up in the screen of his phone. “Okay, they’re not far from here. Maybe it’s the next bus the one we’ll have to take…”

“Great! Uhmm…” Komaeda’s lips pressed together, as if not knowing well what to say.

“What?” it was about time, maybe Komaeda was being kind of nervous too? But Hinata didn’t think so. After all, wasn’t he the one who offered the help?

“We have to start acting right?” Hinata raised an eyebrow, confused. And then he saw how Komaeda slowly took his right hand out from the pocket of his coat, leading it towards Hinata’s side. “Shouldn’t we…?”

“O-Oh, yeah… that’s…” Hinata laughed a little bit and Komaeda did the same. Yes, maybe they both were kind of nervous. “It’s just holding hands, though. It’s okay.”

His left hand seemed terrified, Hinata tried his best to make it look less shaky but it was almost impossible. To hide that inconvenience, he took Komaeda’s hand as fastest as he could and averted his gaze from there.

Silence was overwhelming, but they didn’t have much to say. Or, maybe, they had a lot to say but their minds were clouded. At least, Hinata knew his was like that. His heartbeat going faster and faster with the pass of time, anxious because of the situation.

How much time did he have to wait? When were his friends going to come? And the most important question…

What would they think about him?

He wouldn’t be wondering about that possible question if the person who he was holding hands with were a girl, but that wasn’t the case. Unconsciously, he strengthen his grip to the other’s hand and intertwined fingers. He felt sweaty…

“The bus turns around at the corner of the street, doesn’t it?” Komaeda broke the silence.

“Y-Yeah, that’s why we don’t know when they’re coming until they are just in front of us.” They both laughed.

“Don’t worry, i-it’s fine…” for the first time in almost five minutes, Hinata turned to face Komaeda, who was giving him one of his so lovely comforting smiles.

Sighing, breaking free from some of his anxiety, he returned the gesture and soon went back to stare at the dark and empty street. But his senses sharpened, and he could totally feel Komaeda’s hand together with his.

Despite his colourless and unhealthy skin, Hinata could feel the warmth and softness of his hand. Without even paying attention to his movements, his thumb caressed Komaeda’s fingers in the search for an even softer contact.

And a few seconds later, a bus turned around the corner of the street. And they both froze.

“Well, I-I guess it’s time…” Hinata smiled but not because he was happy, in fact, he was so nervous he was about to hide behind a bush so no one had to see him.

“Mm…” was Komaeda’s response, having his mouth shut. But then he narrowed his eyes, fixating his gaze at the bus’s insides. Not like Hinata, who was staring at the floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. “Hey, there’s a pink haired guy who is staring at me and he looks pretty terrified.”

Hinata burst into laughter, anxiety getting _worse_. “Y-yeah… T-That’s the one who called me and you heard the conversation with him at the coffee shop...”

“Oh, so he’s the one you were shouting at!” they both looked like they were telling the best jokes ever, but Hinata just wanted the ground to open and swallow him.

As soon as the bus door opened, Hinata was the first to step inside followed by Komaeda, who was still holding his hand tightly. The bus was pretty empty, less than five people were around there without counting his friends, they were sat at the very back of the bus. And… their dumbfounded expressions said everything needed.

“Wow, Hinata, you’re gay!? I wasn’t expectin’ that, y’know?”

“Akane, watch your mouth! That’s not how you should greet a friend!”

“O-Oowari… Nidai…” Hinata squeezed Komaeda’s hand even more tightly.

Nekomaru Nidai, one of his friends, and his girlfriend, Akane Oowari, were the only ones who dared to say something, even though it was exactly what Hinata didn’t want them to say. They were really energetic and their voices echoed inside the whole bus, Oowari even had an alcoholic drink bottle in hand so maybe she was a little bit drunk. Some people turned their heads to stare at them, annoyed, until…

“Stop saying stupid things, damn…” Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, another friend, snatched the bottle from Oowari’s hands. He seemed really serious and upset, but Hinata knew he was always like that.

“Let me, I’ll handle it for you.” With an apologetic smile, Peko Pekoyama, Kuzuryuu’s girlfriend who was seated just next to him, took the bottle and kept it safe herself.

Hinata was glad they didn’t pay too much attention to him and his partner, though Kuzuryuu looked confused. But they weren’t the only ones…

In the end…

“Hi…nata?”

“Sou.. da…” Souda blinked a few times while staring at Hinata, an expression full of fear could be seen in both of their faces.

“Hey, you’re the one who called Hinata-kun today, aren’t you? Nice to meet you, Souda-kun! I’m Nagito Komaeda!” with a big grin on his face, he extended his free hand to give Souda a friendly handshake, though the latter was still too in shock because of the situation.

“So you two were together back then? Why didn’t you tell me?” Souda’s eyes went from Hinata to Komaeda, and from Komaeda to Hinata.

“I-I told you it was… complicated.” He rubbed at the back of his neck, nervous, but tried to smile as genuinely as Komaeda always did.

He still didn’t know how he was so relaxed, wasn’t he ashamed of anything? Didn’t he think the situation was pretty awkward?

“You don’t have to worry.” Sonia, the girl who started all the mess (without even being aware of it) reassured Hinata with a lovely smile. “There’s nothing to worry about, we’re here to have fun!”

“Y-Yeah, Sonia-san is right. Just relax!” Souda suddenly changed his mind and his fearful expression did too, he seemed more confident.

Komaeda chuckled a little but covered his mouth with the back of his hand to hide it, he surely noticed how Souda would agree every single thing Sonia said, even when he had to retract his last words.

Then, after Komaeda got to introduce himself to the others, still holding hands with Hinata (who just hoped for his friends not to ask so many questions), they finally could have a seat a little far from them, and so they could feel more “free”.

A few seconds of silence fulfilled the air, until Hinata spoke. “Mmm…” he lowered his gaze towards his hand, still holding Komaeda’s, “I guess we can… you know, let go…”

“Huh?” Komaeda turned to face him and then looked at his hand. “Oh, yeah, sure. It might have been a burden to hold hands with someone like me during so much time.”

“What?” Hinata could feel how the warmth in his left hand started fading away, and noticed it was really sweaty too. “You are not—“

“Souda-kun really likes Sonia-san, doesn’t he?” the abrupt change of topic startled Hinata, he had to blink twice to get it.

“Yeah, he _really_ shows it.” He nodded, a wry smile showing on his face.

“But I don’t think it’s the same for her, you know.” At Komaeda’s answer, Hinata tilted his head to the side, a little bit confused.

Afterwards, he decided to take a look to know if Komaeda’s assumptions could be true. When he looked at Oowari and Nidai, they acted really childish and seemed to be fighting all the time, but they’d always protect each other and their love was undeniable. Same for Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama, they could be colder but a serene aura surrounded them, showing how their relationship was so at ease.

And then… Souda was talking to Sonia, he seemed to talk excitedly about lots of things and she just nodded while keeping her typical polite composure.

“You think he…” Hinata realized.

“He maybe thought going on a date with Sonia implied something more than friendship, but it’s not always like that.” Komaeda finished the idea.

_He’s right…_

Hinata remembered talking to Nanami before, she said something about Sonia being with someone else and he just thought she was joking. Well, since when Nanami _jokes_?

So, in the end, Souda’s date was a friendly one and… “Are you telling me that we could have avoid all this fake date stuff?” Hinata’s voice remained its low tone while whispering to Komaeda in the ear, but he was really annoyed.

“But it’s not like me or you could have known, since Souda-kun really thought it was a _serious_ date.” They kept talking like that, to each other ears like little girls sharing secrets.

“Hey, you two! What kind of secret conversation are you havin’? Can you share it?” Oowari shouted, again, a smirk playing on her face, and Hinata just wanted to die in that exact moment. Even some people turned their heads, again, towards the girl who was shouting and laughing like crazy.

_How much have she drunk?_

“Oh, you discovered us as I can see.” Komaeda seemed to play along with what she was saying, happily answering her. But…

“Huh? What the hell are you doing!?” Hinata’s mind exploded, he couldn’t help gritting his teeth.

“What’s wrong?” then Komaeda lowered his voice, face showing pure concern. “Even if Souda-kun isn’t on a true date, _we_ showed the others that we are on a real one.”

That was also true. There was no turning back now, because every single one of them saw him and Komaeda holding hands and anyone could tell they were dating. But, just that. “Remember that we’re just on a date though, first date…”

“Yeah?” Komaeda averted his gaze towards his hands, he was playing with his own fingers.

“That means… we have to act like people do on a first date, you know. A date it’s not like being… b-boyfriends.” Hinata gulped hard. “So… We have to know how to act.”

“I know, sorry, I shouldn’t have followed Oowari-san’s game. How disrespectful of me, you should be mad at me.”

“No, that’s not it…”

_Stop treating yourself like that…_

“It’s just…” and the words just didn’t want to come out.

Hinata didn’t want his friends to think of Komaeda as his boyfriend, and neither as his friend. But there was no way he could make that happen, he was already in the mess. And the only thing he really needed right know, was Komaeda to stop treating himself like trash. But he didn’t have the guts or even the words to say it.

“It’s nothing. Seriously, it’s fine!” he smiled at Komaeda, showing him everything was okay. “Just… we have to act, right?”

And Komaeda returned the smile with an even brighter one. “Let’s just have fun together, Hinata-kun,” a small blush coloured his pale cheeks and it made Hinata feel a little bit better.

With his smile in mind, there was nothing to worry about.

 

* * *

 

The night was just starting, and the bus travel seemed to last forever for Hinata. He tried to talk with Komaeda, since he was the one next him, but… he didn’t know what to say.

He was the entire ten minutes in the bus looking at his friends, still feeling uncomfortable with the idea of dating a guy. But they didn’t say much, though. In fact, they were invested in something completely apart from him.

When they finally arrived to the bar, he doubted if he should or not hold Komaeda’s hand. After some seconds of thinking deep about that, he ended up doing it. It seemed to take the white haired boy by surprise, because his eyes widened, startled. At some point, Hinata thought he was making a wrong decision, again. But everything changed when Komaeda smiled at him.

“What should we do now, Hinata-kun?” he asked, they were entering the place.

“Mmm… I don’t know. We could drink something but… I don’t think it’d be a good idea.” Hinata rubbed at the back of his neck with his free hand, while staring at the whole place searching for his friends. When he found them, they were looking for a good spot to stay all of them together. He and Komaeda should join too, maybe.

“I don’t drink… And, with my luck, I’m sure I’ll ruin everything.” Komaeda giggled and Hinata just shook his head, frustrated.

_I guess I can’t change the way he treats himself…_

“Let’s just… go with the others, okay?” Hinata offered, eyes fixated on Komaeda’s. Even if the place’s lighting was pretty dark, he could appreciate the greyish tone in the other’s eyes. He never saw such pretty shade before...

“Before that…” Komaeda snapped Hinata out of his thoughts.

“W-What?”

“You see, mmm… don’t you think the music is really loud?”

In fact, yes, he was right. A bar was meant to be a place to spend time with friends drinking and talking… why would music sound so loud? Hinata knew why it was like that, but it was understandable Komaeda’s confusion. “It’s a bar but, downstairs, there’s something like a small club. That’s why.” He smiled.

“Oh… I didn’t know.” Komaeda’s face examined the whole place.

“Sorry, I didn’t tell you that either. And you even told me you don’t like crowded places…”

“Don’t worry!” Komaeda let go of his hand and grabbed him by the shoulders. Hinata just didn’t expect that, though it wasn’t like the other were pushing him away. Actually, it felt reassuring… “I’ll be fine, since it was me the one who wanted to… to _help_ you, right?”

Hinata’s eyebrows twitched in confusion, staring fixedly at Komaeda who, for the first time in the night, didn’t sound confident at all. “I-It’s okay…”

He gently took his hands off his shoulders, being careful not to make the other think he felt uncomfortable, and then he nodded and smiled back at a concerned Komaeda. He wasn’t smiling, he just was staring back at him…

“J-Just… Let’s go with the others. I’m sure you’ll be okay with them.”

No matter how much Hinata smiled, it seemed it didn’t reassure Komaeda in any possible way. He just didn’t get why…

Why could he feel confident when Komaeda smiled back at him but the other just didn’t seem to feel the same?

It kind of disappointed him, his smile wasn’t as genuine and powerful as Komaeda’s in the end…

_Why?_

Then, they started walking towards the others. Before joining, they just glanced at each other and smiled. Well, it was a good sign Komaeda was smiling again, but it didn’t feel so right for Hinata somehow.

 

* * *

 

Everything was going great, it wasn’t so necessary showing too much affection towards Komaeda since they were in group. Practically, it was just holding hands and being _close_.

Even though, that was a proximity Hinata didn’t like much, it made him feel kind of uncomfortable sometimes. Like, sitting next to Komaeda already implied being close enough.

But he wasn’t just close. Actually, at some moments Komaeda rested his head on Hinata’s shoulder and he could feel his heart beat desperately, he just wasn’t used to that kind of physical contact.

Anyway, after three times of Komaeda hugging and sticking to him, he just started to get used to it. And soon, he even started to have the guts to show by himself a little bit of closeness too.

When Komaeda leaned against him, he took the opportunity to brush his messy hair with the fingers. Despite its appearance, its texture was soft and it was pretty entertaining for Hinata having his fingers caught up in Komaeda’s curly locks…

Well, in the end, he found a way to entertain himself without feeling embarrassed. Though he knew his friends weren’t getting used easily to the scene, so he decided to leave Komaeda alone just for a moment so he could spend more time with them.

As soon as he got up away from him, he started to feel kind of relieved and at the same time… it was weird, even he himself couldn’t describe how he felt.

“Hey, Hinata!” he heard someone calling him, and when he turned around he found Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama a few feet from him. He didn’t think twice before getting closer to them.

“Hey…” he buried both of his hands in the pockets of his pants.

“Do you want some? I didn’t see you drinking anything...” Kuzuryuu offered the drink he had in hand and Hinata tilted his head to both sides, undecided.

“I don’t know if I should, even Komaeda didn’t want to drink anything.” He smiled, trying to convince the other.

But that was pretty useless, because after some “yeses” and “noes”, he finally decided to take some sips of that drink. He didn’t know what it was, but it wasn’t like Kuzuryuu liked getting drunk so it surely wasn’t something to be afraid of.

“If you don’t mind me to ask,” his friend started talking again, Hinata nodded while taking another sip of the shared drink. “How did you meet Komaeda?”

And Hinata almost choked with the drink at that question. “U-Umm…”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about that, I’m just… impressed?” Yeah, everyone was _impressed_ about that fact. Mostly, because not only Komaeda was the first date Hinata showed to his friends, but also because he was a guy.

“Don’t worry.” It was time to act, he was pretending to date Komaeda, wasn’t he? Until Kuzuryuu’s question, he was almost forgetting about it… “Well, he’s a waiter at my favourite coffee shop and… we happened to meet there and started talking… That’s it! Nothing special!” He obviously omitted the part where Komaeda was the one talking first, of course, he didn’t want any kind of humiliation.

“He seems to be a nice guy.” Kuzuryuu smiled and Pekoyama, who was holding firmly his boyfriend’s arm, just nodded. They both seemed like a married couple. “He and Sonia are getting well too.” He pointed with his head at where Komaeda was, and Hinata turned around to see.

They were sharing a conversation, it seemed they were having fun because Komaeda was smiling brightly as always while Sonia seemed to show her things on her phone. Just seeing him made Hinata smile too, it was great that he was enjoying time with the others in the end.

Kuzuryuu suddenly sighed. “Souda though… I don’t know, poor him.”

“Why?” Hinata’s gaze turned to Kuzuryuu’s side. “You mean… because he thought Sonia _really_ wanted a date with him?”

“I’m not sure about that, we should talk to him later.”

“I heard somewhere Sonia has a boyfriend or something like that…” Hinata continued with the topic, taking another sip of the drink.

“Gundham Tanaka is the name, I think.” Kuzuryuu hesitated.

“They’re not together.” Pekoyama talked and Hinata wasn’t expecting her having her own opinion on that. When it came to gossip, that girl always seemed to stay away from it. “I was talking with her the other day on campus, and she totally seemed to like him and his pets. She showed me some pictures since she knows I… like animals.”

Hinata took another sip of the drink and then returned it to Kuzuryuu. Oh, maybe Sonia was showing Komaeda some pictures of those pets?

He suddenly realized he never asked Komaeda if he liked animals.

_I’ll ask him later…_

But, when was _later_? Would there be a _later_?

Hinata swallowed hard, it was like a time bomb was set inside him and it was slowly preparing to explode.

_It… shouldn’t be like this._

After sharing a few more words with Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama, he decided to take a look to what Komaeda was doing. He was still talking happily with Sonia, while Souda…

“Hey…” Hinata called his friend, and sat next to him. He wasn’t far but neither close to everyone else. “How are you?”

“The question is, how _you_ are.” Souda smirked, showing his strange shark-shaped teeth. “I’m still in shock, you know.”

Hinata chuckled a little bit and lowered his gaze while sitting more comfortable, arms resting on his lap. “Yeah…”

“But it’s okay, anyway. I just wasn’t expecting you to bring a guy, that’s all.” They both were smiling, trying not to sound serious. “So… you like him?”

Hinata went blank, again. Was it going to feel like that every single time he talked to his friends? Why was it so difficult? “Well… I-I brought him here for a reason.”

That was partially true in the end. He brought Komaeda for a reason: to pretend being his date.

“I brought Sonia too, you see…” Souda’s smile started fading. And Hinata looked concerned.

“Souda… I… you know. I think Sonia—“

“I know she likes someone else.” His smile came back.

…

Hinata just stared at him, not knowing what to say until his friend turned his gaze at him. “What?” He asked.

“Nothing… I was just thinking…” Hinata’s eyebrows twitched, as if focusing on topic. “If you already knew she liked someone else, why did you invite her? Or… how can you not feel bad about that?”

Souda shook his head in denial. “I knew it, yeah. But… she accepted my invitation and she seems happy with Komaeda right now, doesn’t she?” They both glanced at where Sonia and Komaeda were seated, they still seemed to be having fun.

“I think so…” Hinata answered, with his gaze focused on Komaeda only.

“I just wanted her to accept my invitation, which was enough to make me happy. Though, I still kind of feel hate towards the guy she likes, to be honest.” His eyebrows twitched. “But, I don’t know, I’ll have my _hopes_ up so… maybe one day—“

“Don’t say the word ‘hope’, for the sake of my sanity.” Hinata covered his face with both hands.

“What? Why?” Souda laughed.

“It’s just… Komaeda always mentions ‘hope’ and if I hear that word just one more time, I think I’m going to explode.” And now they both were laughing.

“Hey, it’s real that when you like someone everything reminds you to that person. You’re proving it true!” and even though Souda was laughing, Hinata was frozen.

_I…_

_No…_

_That’s… not true…_

He bit his bottom lip and got up fast. “Why don’t we talk to them?

Maybe just being close to Komaeda would make his mind get clearer. He was so glad when Souda nodded and followed him to where Sonia and Komaeda were…

“Hinata-kun!” It’d been almost an hour since the last time he heard the white haired boy’s voice. Hinata smiled as an answer and sat just next to him. “Sonia was showing me some pictures of hamsters and dogs, didn’t I tell you I love dogs?”

“I was about to ask you if you liked animals…” He didn’t know why, but he had a feeling that Komaeda said that on purpose…

_Oh, of course, he’s trying to prove Sonia really likes that other guy who loves animals…_

“You two are such a wonderful couple.” Sonia suddenly said and both, Komaeda and Hinata, hushed down.

_Crap…_

“Oh, that’s a nice compliment. I don’t think I deserve it, though…” Komaeada was the one with the guts to speak first, and slowly reached for Hinata’s hand to intertwine fingers.

Again, Hinata thought he was about to have a heart attack. Komaeda’s soft fingers brushing against his, the carefree smile he was giving to everyone… How could he be that good at lying? Was it even possible?

He needed to change the topic, right now. “Mmm… Does anybody know where Nidai and Oowari are?”

“Don’t you know them? They must be drinking… Well, Oowari drinking and Nidai trying to stop her but falling in temptation.” Souda said while taking a seat next to Sonia, she was examining the place with her eyes and then she smiled.

“I think there they are!” She said, pointing just behind Hinata.

“Hey! How ya doin’?”

Komaeda and Hinata turned around, to find Oowari staring fixedly at them. It seemed like she were thinking deep about something…

_This doesn’t seem good…_

Hinata’s hands may be shaking, because Komaeda turned his concerned gaze at him.

“Mmmm…” Oowari narrowed her eyes. “Y’know, it’s the first time I see a gay couple and I’m curious.”

“Akane…” Nidai was holding her with both arms from behind, it seemed like she was too drunk to get a hold of herself. Anyway, his boyfriend wasn’t sober either so it was a funny scene watching them trying to maintain the composure. Even Komaeda was holding back his laugh.

“Shut up!” Oowari ordered Nidai. “I’m talkin’ to Hinata and… that guy I don’t even remember his name.”

“Just speak!” Hinata said, laughing because he just couldn’t help it.

“Are you together?” She asked, trying to sound serious. They both nodded and raised their hands still intertwined. “Then why don’t ya kiss? Wouldn’t it be awesome? We’re all here! I want to see it! The kiss of the night!”

She was shouting, demanding a…

“A… k-kiss?” Hinata asked, Komaeda glared at him but he didn’t say anything else.

“That’s what people do on a date, y’now right?” Akane said, sounding angry.

“Just do it! Unless you want her to keep on shouting.” Nidai, who was still holding his girlfriend, tried to convince them.

_But…_

_…_

_Oh…_

_No…_

Hinata’s brain died, his mind utterly blank.

_I can’t kiss him…_

_I… I…_

He just stood up, as fastest as he could and tried his best excuse of the moment. “I feel sick right now, you know… Kuzuryuu’s drink’s fault! I… I’ll be right back. I have to go to… to the bathroom.” He practically ran away from the scene, using the worst and fakest excuse he could ever come up with.

He avoided looking at everyone, what would they think about him now? And…

_What is Komaeda thinking now?_

He was so good at pretending after all, so… Would he have kissed him if Oowari had kept on insisting? Would he have been able to do that instead of panicking?

Yes, Hinata was panicking like never before. All the plan falling from a cliff and it was all his own fault.

_I’m so stupid…_

As soon as he reached the bathroom, he locked himself in one of the stalls and took his phone from his pocket. There was only one person that could help him at that moment…

With shaking hands and blurred sight, he looked for Nanami’s number. It was already 2:00 am, maybe she was still playing…

He called… and called… and called…

Until he realized she wasn’t there, or probably playing a difficult game. So he decided to leave a voice mail.

“Hey, Nanami… Remember when I said I didn’t think something too bad could happen…? Well… Call as soon as you can, please. And I _hope_ you’re winning that tournament you told me about too.”

Even mentioning the word “hope” made his heart skip a beat. Everything was _so_ wrong, but he couldn’t stay locked in there forever. He sighed heavily and got away from the bathroom.

He’d make up an excuse, and there wouldn’t be nothing to worry about.

_Yeah… Everything is okay._

When he came out of the bathroom, Souda and Kuzuryuu were waiting for him.

_And… Komaeda isn’t here?_

That was so weird, he always showed concern for him so… why wasn’t he there?

_Don’t tell me…_

_What if he ran away? What if he pretended he was really upset and just left?_

“Hey, dumbass, are you okay?” Kuzuryuu gave him a little punch on the shoulder and Hinata blinked a few times to go back to reality.

“Damn, what happened to you?” Souda looked concerned too.

And he was just too anxious to even answer fast. “Just… W-What the hell did your drink have?”

“What the fuck are you saying? You’ve drunk this in several occasions, don’t blame me!” Kuzuryuu twitched his eyebrows.

“Okay… You know what? Never mind.” He pressed his lips together, forming a thin line, and then sighed. “Let’s go with the others and… What about Komaeda?”

“He’s still sat there.” Souda assured, pointing at him.

At least Hinata had some relief. Because, yes, there was no reason for Komaeda to be mad, of course. Still…

_Why didn’t he come to see if I was okay?_

_After all, wouldn’t he have to be the first one coming for me?_

That mystery still lingered in Hinata’s mind. But he just tried to forget it, it was maybe just his imagination.

Then he reached the spot where everybody were situated. Sonia and Oowari were nowhere to be seen anyway, but Nidai said they were in the bathroom. Well, Oowari’s state wasn’t the best after all…

He took the seat next to Komaeda, who simply said nothing when Hinata was in front of him. That was weird, in fact, Komaeda always received him with his best smiles. But now…

“Komaeda?” He wanted an answer, anything…

He even led his hand towards the white haired boy’s leg, since his hand was resting on his lap. But he moved his leg away from him fast and stood up.

_Huh?_

“Sonia-san! Oowari-san! Do you feel better now?” Oh, that was it, the two girls just came back and Komaeda wanted to check on how they were.

_Yeah… that’s it…_

“Yeah, I feel little better now… But hungry…” Oowari said, taking Nidai’s arm. “Hey, why don’t we go downstairs? Let’s dance or just do something fun because there’s no meat to eat up here and I don’t want to think about that!”

It was awesome how Oowari had so much energy, even after being so drunk she could recover easily from it. That was admirable, to be honest.

And with that, everyone had to agree that it was going to be fun going downstairs, to the club running in there. They all started slowly going towards the dark staircase, until the only ones left up there were Komaeda and Hinata.

“So… Let’s go?” The white haired boy asked, but no smile showing on his face. Hinata was pretty concerned.

“Mm… Yeah, but… Are you okay?” Again, he tried to reach for Komaeda’s hand and then regretted it. He didn’t need to do that, anyone was watching them…

“I just feel a little tired, that’s all.” Komaeda crossed his arms, and when he looked at Hinata at his face, he realized something.

He knew Komaeda’s features weren’t the healthiest ones, but he’d learnt so see the light in him. Anyway, he was colourless now. Just like a dry flower. Hinata just couldn’t understand why, but knew Komaeda wasn’t the same.

“There’re some couches down there.” Hinata pointed out. “If you feel tired we can just sit there, what do you think?”

Komaeda just nodded at him and started walking towards the staircase, still having his arms crossed. Hinata followed him from behind, still feeling something was off…

_What’s wrong with him?_

 

* * *

 

Music sounded louder and louder with each step towards the club. There weren’t many people on the bar section, because it seemed everyone was down there, dancing. Anyway, it wasn’t even that crowded, it was the perfect amount of people.

Hinata didn’t like dancing too much, sometimes when he came with his friends to that part of the place they all ended up doing anything stupid but dancing. Stuff friends do, for sure. But, at that moment, it was quite different…

A few feet from the staircase, there was an empty couch and Komaeda was the first one to take a seat on it, Hinata following him. But it wasn’t comfortable at all, they remained silent just listening to the extremely loud music.

Hinata slowly turned his gaze to Komaeda, noticing he wasn’t even looking at him.

“Komaeda, seriously… Are you okay?” Again, his hands moved by themselves and tried to reach to the other’s, but stopped when he spoke.

“I was thinking, Hinata-kun...” He sounded as calm as always, but Hinata just didn’t understand him.

“What?” He returned his hand back to his side, ashamed.

“It’s about time!” Finally he showed a little bit of emotion, putting his hands together and smiling. Anyway, it didn’t feel right at all.

“I don’t understand…”

“We are pretending to be on a date, right?” Hinata nodded, not sure if that was the correct answer. “So… Don’t you think your friends may think that you’ll bring me again sometime in the future?”

Hinata showed his best confused expression. “What… W-Why would they think that in the first place?”

“We were having fun, weren’t we?” He was smiling, but this time it didn’t reassure Hinata in any way. It felt like Komaeda was losing his bright at acting, his confidence wasn’t the same as before.

_Yeah… We were having fun…_

_Were…_

Everything changed from a moment to another, it wasn’t fun anymore. Komaeda wasn’t the same. Hinata started thinking about the kiss Oowari wanted them to share…

_No… I don’t think it can be that… He…_

_He was acting, right?_

_…_

_Unless…_

“Komaeda…” He had to take his doubts out from his mind. “Have you—?” But he was shut up by Komaeda’s finger on his mouth.

“What I meant is that… we shouldn’t end this on good terms, because they’ll expect us to meet again then!” It made sense in some ways, but…

“It’s not like that!” Hinata threw Komaeda’s hand away from his face, he was getting annoyed. “We’re not pretending to be boyfriends or anything, it’s just a date. If I don’t bring you here again I can simply say ‘things didn’t work out in the end’, and it’ll be okay with just that.”

“Are you sure?” Komaeda raised an eyebrow, smirking…

“No… Are _you_ sure about what you’re saying?” Hinata pointed a finger at him. “You’re acting really str—“

“Don’t you think it’d be more believable if you faked to break my heart in front of them now than making up excuses later?”

Hinata’s eyes widened and the music stopped sounding in his ears, only his heart beating could be heard. He stared fixedly at Komaeda, who didn’t sound serious and neither joking…

His grey eyes became darker, an endless pit of confusion showed inside them. Hinata couldn’t stop staring, expecting him to start laughing and smiling carefree again, saying it all was a joke.

But a few seconds passed, and they both were still in silence. He had to do something about it… “F-Fake to b-break your heart…? Why…? Is that even necessary?”

“It certainly is for me, and we had been _acting_ pretty well so I guess it won’t be difficult at all.” And then, he smirked again. “Well, your friends didn’t even seem to notice when you ran away before, after all.”

“A-About that… Komaeda… I…”

He kept his mouth opened trying to say words he didn’t know, he was wordless. He just wanted Komaeda to be the one who was having fun and showing him affection. Well, the last part was all an act so…

The one in front of him right now was the real Komaeda? The one with twisted ideas and who spoke more to himself than for Hinata?

Was he really like that?

Hinata was about to claim an explanation, finally he thought he had the words to ask him. But just before saying something, he felt a buzzing sound coming from his pants.

“Huh?” he checked on them and realized that Nanami was calling him. “Damn… I… I have a call. Stay here, okay? I-I’ll be right back…”

Without even waiting for an answer from Komaeda, he stood up and ran away from there as fastest as he could. He was already going upstairs when he answered the call. “H-Hey, Nanami, can you hear me? How are you?”

“What happened?” it was instant, she didn’t like talking around and surely listened to Hinata’s voice mail, so she probably was concerned about him.

“Long story…” he practically ran to the bathroom and locked himself in the same stall from before, nobody was there to be seen and, if somebody entered, he wouldn’t care either. “But first, how are you going with the tournament?”

“I just lost the second round, actually. That was why I didn’t answer, it was being rough. But now we’re even, so there’ll be a third round to finally play it off. It’ll start in thirty minutes, so don’t worry…” Hinata wanted to know how Nanami could be so relaxed when she was in the middle of losing and winning, he wanted to have her confidence. He was having it until a few minutes ago, Komaeda was the one making feel like that and now it seemed everything was over.

“I’m sure you’ll succeed, you always do,” he smiled, anxiety slowly going away. “So… What happened is… the fake date was going great, you know. But then Komaeda…”

“Who is Komaeda?” Oh, yeah, he never mentioned his name to Nanami.

“The guy I am da… pretending to date.” Confusion may could happen and he knew it, after some hours of telling his friends he was really dating him, he was almost believing it…

_So stupid…_

“What happened with him?” It was better if Nanami asked questions and Hinata just had to answer them, his head was a mess at that moment and it’d be pretty difficult to come up with a good way of telling the story.

“He’s acting weird, really weird.” Leaning against the closed bathroom stall’s door, he stared at the white ceiling. His eyes narrowed, in the club the lightning was pretty dark and he wasn’t so used to bright light now. “We were doing fine, you know? But then… Do you know Oowari? Nidai’s Girlfriend? Well… She got pretty drunk and dared Komaeda and me to kiss. We didn’t because I p-panicked and ran to call you. After that… he started with his strange behaviour.” When he said what he’d done, he could realize about how stupidly he acted…

“Mmmm…” she didn’t say much for a few seconds, as if she were analysing what Hinata just told her. “But, what kind of strange behaviour?”

“Like… I don’t know, he’s just not the same as before.” It sounded such a lame accusation, but that was how he felt. “He was always smiling and being so kind, but suddenly became cold and distant. And… he started saying such weird things, you know? Like… I don’t know, they just don’t make sense…”

_“Don’t you think it’d be more believable if you faked to break my heart in front of them now than making up excuses later?”_

Komaeda’s voice flooded in his mind, and again his anxiety was closing the air in his lungs. Still, he didn’t know why he said that. He really felt like he wasn’t talking to Komaeda at all, he needed answers…

“It’d be better if you told me what he said, maybe it actually _makes_ sense.” She insisted and Hinata remained silent for a few seconds. Despite that, Nanami knew he didn’t hang up the phone because his breathing could clearly be heard…

“He said something like we had to fake a break up, but then I told him we weren’t playing to be boyfriends. I reminded him we were just having a fake date and after tonight I wouldn’t need to prove my friends we broke up or something, that I could tell my friends it didn’t work out in the end. Are you following me?” Hinata spoke so fast he had to breathe in a big amount of oxygen before talking again.

“I think so…”

“Well, he then told me it was necessary that we showed my friends that…” He then bit his bottom lip, not able to say what was next.

  _“Don’t you think it’d be more believable if you faked to break my heart in front of them now than making up excuses later?”_

“…”

“Hey, are you there?” Nanami brought him back to reality.

“S-Sorry… It’s j-just…” Stuttering was inevitable, he needed to calm down. He needed to search for a rational meaning to Komaeda’s words.

“It’s okay, calm down.” Nanami’s voice was really sweet, full of patience, it made Hinata seriously relax. “Is it that bad what he told you? What did he say?”

“Don’t get it wrong, it’s nothing terrible. I promise.” He couldn’t help the laugh escaping his lips, he still was acting like an idiot. Getting all nervous about something so stupid, it wasn’t like Komaeda had been harassing him or anything like that, he just… “He just said that it’d be more believable if I faked to break his heart in front of all my friends, and I just don’t understand why he put it that way…”

“Hinata-kun…” Nanami suddenly said. “I think…”

“W-What?” So fast? As soon as Hinata mentioned the thing she had an explanation for it?

Was it really so easy to understand? Was Hinata really that stupid not to notice? “I don’t know if I’m right but… I’ll try to make you get my point, are you listening?”

“I’m here, just say it.” Hinata frowned. He didn’t know how much time he had been talking with Nanami, neither if Komaeda remained at the same place he told him to stay. But it didn’t matter now, it was better having a damn answer for all the mysteries inside his mind than being confused all night long.

“First, you escaped from the kiss, don’t you?” Nanami pointed out.

“Y-Yes…”

“Second, that boy, Komaeda, started acting weird…”

“Yes…”

“And third, he said that he wanted you to ‘fake to break his heart’, didn’t he?”

“I don’t know where you want me to go with this, it’s just exactly what I told you.” Hinata growled.

Then he even heard Nanami sighing from the other side of the line. Great, his bad mood wasn’t being a big help at the moment. “I may be wrong, but… You should put all the three events together and the puzzle must be done.”

He felt dizzy. Maybe it was the drink from before, maybe it was the stiff air of the place, or maybe it all really made sense somehow...

“And, can I ask you one last question?” Nanami inquired, surprising Hinata.

“Of course, what’s now?”

“He was the one who offered the idea to be your pretend date, wasn’t he?” Hinata was about to reply but Nanami spoke again. “Because then… I guess what I think it’s true.”

“Then just say it!” He just wanted to stop feeling confused, he wanted to go back to where Komaeda was and have the will to tell him ‘hey, I understand you’, but he couldn’t. He wanted to be with him and feel at ease with him, but something happened and everything was utterly wrong between them.

He needed to know why everything changed if everything was going so great. Even if it was all fake…

There were times where Hinata couldn’t distinct between true and fake.

And when Nanami was about to speak, although she sounded hesitant, even Hinata heard a knock on a door from the other side of the phone. “Ohh… It must be Tsumiki.”

“What is she doing outside at this hour? And doesn’t she have a key?” Tsumiki and Nanami were roommates at college, and they both were really good friends too.

“She went to have a shower and forgot about the keys. And she’s going to watch the tournament while I play it too…” Her voice lowered its tone while talking about that.

“Oh… I’ll leave you then. Don’t worry, I think I can figure out what you told me… anyway. I _hope_ you win this time!”

Again, saying that word made him feel sick…

_“Yeah, I don’t deserve hearing what other people say, you’re right. But, at the same time, I just can’t let customers’ **hopes** crush like that.”_

_“You feel **hope** less don’t you?”_

_“Don’t let this despair you’re feeling take over you, **hope** always wins after all!”_

_“I can **help** if you want to!”_

…

_“I could be your **date**.”_

After sharing some more numb words with Nanami, Hinata hung up the phone and stared at the ceiling. It was as blank as his mind, he still didn’t get it.

He still didn’t understand Komaeda. Or, better said, he preferred not to understand him. Because, as Nanami said, putting all the events together as if they were a puzzle, everything had to start making sense…

Komaeda offered himself to be Hinata’s _fake_ date…

Komaeda was the one with the idea of holding hands…

Komaeda was acting _too_ well…

And Komaeda started with his weird behaviour after Hinata rejected a kiss…

…

_It can’t be true…._

And when he started to think even deeper about that, he leaved the bathroom stall and almost crashes with someone in an attempt of running away from there as fastest as possible. It seemed the place turned out to be more popular really late at night, there were more people in there.

He had to come back fast, how much time did he spend talking with Nanami? How much time had Komaeda waited for him? Would he still be there?

What if he wasn’t there?

Hinata was worried about that. But not just because of what his friends he would say, actually…

He needed to have a talk with Komaeda, a serious one, and he wouldn’t let the opportunity go.

He wouldn’t let Komaeda go.

 

* * *

 

By the time he reached the staircase, he’d already crashed with almost every single person in the bar section. His steps were so hasty that he could have fallen while going downstairs, hopefully he didn’t.

Though, just when he was about to arrive on the dance floor, he glanced towards the direction where Komaeda was supposed to be: the couch they both were sat before. And Hinata was thinking about the two possibilities of the situation. Or Komaeda was still there, or he simply left.

What he wasn’t expecting at all, was the possibility of Komaeda being with someone else. A girl was seated next to him on the couch.

He narrowed his eyes, not far and neither near from them so he wasn’t quite sure what was happening. The only thing he knew was that Komaeda was still being distant and cold, having his arms folded and keeping an inexpressive, colourless, expression on his face.

Well, at least Hinata could notice Komaeda was being like that with anyone and not just with him.

As for the girl, he couldn’t feel comfortable staring fixedly at her. She could be denominated as “one of those girls”, the type Hinata just couldn’t bear…

She had blond hair tied up in two ponytails, blue eyes and long red painted nails. Besides, she was wearing suggestive clothes (even if Hinata wanted to look away, her chest was too exposed)… And she was wrapping her hair around her fingers in a very provocative way while trying to lean against Komaeda.

Hinata couldn’t tell if the other was letting her by his side or if he just didn’t care. He wasn’t showing signs of _anything_.

He couldn’t help frowning and started walking again, decided to get in the middle of that really uncomfortable situation. “Excuse me…” he said, and both, Komaeda and the girl, lifted their heads to stare at him.

“Mmm… or rather, excuse us?” she said, folding her arms and crossing her legs. Even her skirt was too short and her underwear could easily be seen from that angle.

“W-What are you doing here? He’s with _me_.” Then, he directed his gaze towards Komaeda. “Aren’t we?”

Hinata was actually expecting him to say any kind of response. Rejecting him, rejecting the girl, rejecting both, he had all the possibilities in mind. Despite that, when Komaeda opened his mouth to say something, anything, that girl started talking again and didn’t let him do it. “Oh, don’t worry, if that’s the case we can be the three of us together, I don’t really mind.”

She then smirked and it actually made Hinata want to throw up, just when he thought that girl couldn’t be even more despair inducing, she prove him wrong with that grin. “I-I… No, I won’t do anything with you… _We_ won’t.” He, again, faced Komaeda to see if he had something to say about the mess, but he was still as quiet as a statue. “Just get lost.”

At that sudden response, the girl widened her eyes, surprised, but soon she gave them both that big and unbearable grin again. And then, she burst into laughter. “You seem so desperate, boy, really. But… I just can’t believe you without _proof_. You know? It’d be great if you showed me you two really are into something, I’d feel so desperate for not being able to be involved with you two. Isn’t despair a great feeling?” she leaned closer to Komaeda again, still laughing.

“Shut up.” he pushed her away, but trying not to do it violently. Finally, Hinata could tell Komaeda wasn’t feeling comfortable either.

Though…

_Proof…_

_Not again…_

She was still blabbering about despair and stuff like that, and Hinata assumed she was drunk or, in the worst-case scenario, high. There was no logical explanation for her behaviour. Anyway, it seemed she wouldn’t let them alone, at least not easily. He just knew he had to do something, anything to keep her away from Komaeda.

Just that, he didn’t want her to be near Komaeda…

It was _his_ date that night…

Date…

_“I could be your date.”_

With his mind still on the clouds, and self-control completely shut down, he grabbed Komaeda by the arm and then everything went black.

_“Oh… Sorry, I didn’t mean saying that I’d be your actual date, I’m such an idiot for not being able to explain myself properly…”_

_“What I wanted to say, is that I could pretend being your date just for tonight? So you wouldn’t have to struggle to find someone and everything would be **easier** for you, wouldn’t it?”_

But, in the end, it didn’t turn out to be easy. It hadn’t been easy holding hands with Komaeda, it hadn’t been easy being extremely close with him, and it hadn’t been easy pretending…

Pretending they were on a real date, pretending a kiss…

…

Music suddenly stopped sounding for him, only his pulse pounding heavily in his ears. He didn’t know how he ended up with one of his hands grabbing Komaeda by the chin, he didn’t know when he decided to lean even closer to him, he didn’t know how or when they started kissing…

…

And he didn’t know why it didn’t feel so bad after all.

With his eyes closed, still pressing his lips onto Komaeda’s, he was kissing him eagerly. He could hear that weird girl next to them say a few more things he didn’t really listen to before disappearing from there. And even though she’d finally gone, it was difficult to stop kissing Komaeda. Because…

What would he do when they separate from each other? Wouldn’t it feel weird?

He was trying as much as he could to take advantage of the situation, even if he was stood still and had to lean forward to be at the same height as Komaeda, who was still sitting. And, by the way…

What was he thinking about Hinata right now? Was he faking the kiss too?

…

Was Hinata even _faking_ right now?

His hands moved from Komaeda’s chin towards his cheek, caressing his soft and cold skin, and then up to his messy hair, knowing how amazingly fluffy it was and how much he enjoyed having his fingers caught up in his curly locks. He surely was taking advantage of the situation, biting Komaeda’s lower lip and wanting to have their tongues intertwined…

He suddenly realized what he was doing and opened his eyes, startled. Then, he separated from Komaeda, whose grey eyes were big as plates and had his pale cheeks a little bit flushed. Hinata could see how some of his colours were back again, but Komaeda was still too quiet for his liking.

“I…” he licked his own lips and then gulped hard while rubbing at the back of his neck, feeling ashamed. Still, Komaeda didn’t show any readable expression on his face. He just stared at Hinata and tilted his head to the side.

“You…” his voice finally came out, hoarse.

“Oh yeah! That was what I was talkin’ about before!” It was impossible not to notice Oowari’s voice from behind him. And when he turned around, Hinata found all his friends getting closer to where he and Komaeda were. “If I had seen that _whore_ before, I’d have done somethin’ of course! Like, punching her preppy face, or anythin’ like that.”

“I think it’s not okay recurring to violence, I’m glad she left in the end…” Sonia commented, she seemed concerned.

And they weren’t the only ones talking about it, all of them seemed to have seen the scene. Hinata stared at them, trying to say something but words not coming out. All of a sudden, he felt a shiver down his spine when felt a cold hand looking for holding his own. When he turned around, he found Komaeda staring at him but without saying anything. He just slowly intertwined fingers with Hinata’s.

But they both didn’t understand anything of what just happened, it seemed. Or, maybe, the white haired boy was still faking and Hinata was the only one lost.

Shortly after, Komaeda stood up just next to Hinata and led his mouth towards his ear. “Are you forgetting about something?” he whispered, and Hinata clenched his fists.

Did Komaeda really wanted him to…?

_“Don’t you think it’d be more believable if you faked to break my heart in front of them now than making up excuses later?”_

…

Hinata frowned and opened his mouth to speak, Komaeda _faked_ a smile. Yes, this time it really was a fake one.

“Hey, guys, uhm…” he sighed. “Komaeda and I are a little tired, a lot happened, don’t you think? I guess…” hesitant, he directed his gaze towards the white haired boy next to him, “it’s time to go back home.”

Komaeda was still holding his hand, and Hinata could even feel how he strengthened his grip onto it. It didn’t matter, he wouldn’t listen to his stupid ideas. Hinata’d had enough with that crazy night, he wanted everything to be over. He wanted to stop feeling bad while staring at that colourless Komaeda, he wasn’t the one who asked him to go out on a pretend date…

This one was a complete different person.

His friends looked confused, but they didn’t ask for explanations either. They just let Komaeda and Hinata go away, and it was a miracle the first one hadn’t said anything against it.

They just kept holding hands while going upstairs…

And at the bar….

And even outside the place…

…

Their hands didn’t separate from each other in any moment.

 

* * *

 

Streets were pretty silent and terrifying at three in the morning, but Hinata showed no concern while walking side by side with Komaeda looking for the bus stop to go back to the dorms.

He was tired of everything, even tired of thinking… Well, tired of supposing. He didn’t want to think about his earlier decisions, neither about Komaeda’s sudden change of personality. He just wanted to go back to his dorm, sleep, and forget that this night happened.

That was why he remained silent, he didn’t need any single thing to be added to the “to forget” list of events of that night. But no matter how much he didn’t want to talk, he couldn’t control Komaeda’s tongue…

“Hmmm… Hinata-kun… There’s no one watching us, so I don’t really understand why you are still holding my hand. Even so, I’m sure it must have been a burden to pretend being close during so much time to someone like m—“

He didn’t know where the strength came from, but he soon found himself smashing Komaeda against the nearest wall. With both hands holding tightly onto his collar and his teeth grinding, he realized he was seriously pissed off. “Are you serious!? There’s seriously something wrong with you!” Their faces weren’t far from each other at all, but Komaeda remained silent. He surely didn’t expect Hinata to act so harshly… “ _You_ had this stupid idea, _you_ were the one arranging everything that happened tonight…. _You_ even started saying things that didn’t make sense and I’m tired of this shit…”

“If you’re tired of me, just say it.” Komaeda now seemed calmer, as if he had been planning this whole _act_ too…

Act…

Just that…

Was everything just an act in the end?

“Komaeda…” Hinata gasped, putting too much effort in having Komaeda cornered against the wall. “Just tell me one thing and be honest…”

“I listen…” His grey eyes were dark and deep, they didn’t feel right at all.

“Have you… Have you planned everything from the very beginning? I mean… Why did you want to help me in the first place? Actually… Was that _really_ your purpose?”

Komaeda blinked a few times and then smirked. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I obviously wanted to help you.”

“Then… why did you want me to fake a discussion in front of everyone? Was that really necessary?”

“I guess we’re having that discussion right now, so it doesn’t matter in the end…” Komaeda’s smirk vanished and Hinata’s grip lightened…

He couldn’t help still being confused, shaking his head in denial. But he was one step closer into Komaeda’s twisted thoughts. “I knew it…”

The white haired boy tilted his head to the side, now he was the one confused. “Mmm… what?”

“You’re not acting. If you only wanted me to have an argument to make my friends believe it, why are you still trying to push me away from you if they’re not here?”

Silence, just that, and the dark atmosphere of the empty street wasn’t helping either. Hinata examined with his eyes every single spot on Komaeda’s body, searching for clues to clear his suspicions.

When he saw his face, it seemed as calm as Komaeda always was. But when he directed his gaze towards his hands, Hinata could notice how much they were shaking. And he just couldn’t be angry, Komaeda had that “something” that made it pretty difficult staying away from him. Being upset wasn’t an option.

His ideas may have been a little bit twisted for Hinata’s liking but, in the end, he’d been doing it great back in the bar. He only broke down when…

Hinata leaned closer, Komaeda was still pressed against the wall, and he couldn’t help hugging him by the waist and resting his head on his shoulder. “Everything… Everything was going great, you know? I… I wouldn’t have been capable of pretending to break your heart just like you said, you know?” Komaeda remained silent. “Did you want me to push you away because…”

“I like you.” Hinata’s eyes widened, surprised that Komaeda finished the answer just in the way he was afraid of it to end.

“A-Are you… serious?” He was still hugging Komaeda by the waist but pulled his head away from his shoulder, so he could face him.

“Did you want me to say that? I’m honoured, but feelings from trash like me don’t deserv—.” He soon was shut up by Hinata’s lips pressing over his.

He wanted Komaeda to stop treating himself like that, because he didn’t deserve it.

Why did he think he was such an awful person?

Was that the reason why he wanted Hinata to stay away from him? Just because he felt “trash” and needed Hinata to reject him?

It was a brief kiss, nothing more, since it was only to shut Komaeda up…

“You’re not trash.” Then, Hinata got away from the other’s side and started walking again. “Let’s go. There’re not many buses during the night, you know.”

Komaeda followed him from behind until they both ended up side by side again. Then, Hinata took his hand once again.

And he wasn’t planning on letting it go anymore.

 

* * *

 

It didn’t take them long to find the bus stop, and they were lucky that it came pretty fast. It was empty, just the bus driver was accompanying them. Anyway, they took the seats from the very back of the bus.

Hinata remained looking at the window, pushing any confusing thoughts aside. However, he could see his own reflexion and Komaeda’s perfectly. The lights in the bus were too bright, but that wouldn’t make him feel any less tired.

Actually, he could tell Komaeda was dozing off so he turned to face him. He was about to fall asleep and he was falling forward, so Hinata caught him and brought him back in place. Even so, Komaeda leaned against his shoulder and it seemed that now he truly fell asleep.

At that point, Hinata just didn’t care about the extreme closeness with Komaeda. So he wrapped his arm around his shoulders and let him sleep.

It was a ten minutes travel after all, so it wouldn’t last long. Though he had to admit he felt pretty comfortable and he was trying his best not to fall asleep too. Since the bus driver’s taste of music seemed to be pretty depressive, Hinata felt miserably sleepy.

As soon as he realized they were near their stop, he gently shook Komaeda’s shoulders in an attempt of waking him up. He had the right to be that sleepy, though. He’d been working on the coffee shop since early Friday morning. So, in the end, Hinata couldn’t be upset because of his exhaustion.

Komaeda slowly opened his eyes, they were red because of his tiredness but their greyish and clear shade remained. Hinata smiled and, without saying anything, he got up and continued his duty of getting off the bus.

He was the first one to land on the sidewalk, just in front of the dorms, while Komaeda seemed so lost in time and space that Hinata didn’t hesitate in giving him a hand to help him getting off too.

“Thank you, Hinata-kun,” he said, smiling carefree and sounding hoarse. And Hinata almost believed that he was back to the time when they just met: feeling relaxed.

He just nodded and kept his hand holding Komaeda’s. “Where do you live?”

“Huh? Why?” The white haired boy inquired.

“I’ll take you home, I can’t leave you walking alone at this hours if you’re so sleepy.” His grip at the other’s hand tightened, he was being serious.

“You don’t have to…” Komaeda looked disappointed and even separated his hand from Hinata’s, taking them into the pockets of his green coat. “It’s totally fine… It was me the one _helping_ in the end.”

Hinata couldn’t help frowning. “What had we talked about before? You…” he bit his bottom lip. “I can’t believe it… You’ll just deny what have happened?”

“Things didn’t turn out the way they were meant to be.” Komaeda chuckled and then shrugged. “I don’t want my feelings to get in the middle of what we were supposed to do. We faked dating tonight, and tomorrow you’ll forget it. And, when you come back to the coffee shop, I’ll be the waiter and you’ll be the customer. As if nothing happened, because that was how it was meant to be.”

“But, you just said it, it didn’t turn out like that.” Hinata folded his arms and frowned, how many times had he already had the same discussion that night?

“I’m so sorry about that, I didn’t want to screw things up… Guess luck wasn’t by my side this time.” He smiled, but it felt like an apologetic smile. “Why don’t we pretend this never happened? After all, wasn’t this all just pretended in the end?”

“What if it wasn’t?” It seemed Komaeda didn’t expect that objection, because his eyes widened. However, he soon came back to his carefree self.

“Are you saying you didn’t fake the kiss in front of that girl? Wasn’t it just for showing you were with me?”

Again, Hinata only wanted Komaeda to shut up. With both hands, he cupped the white haired boy’s cheeks and leaned forward to kiss him. This time it wasn’t just pressing lips together, their mouths started moving in sync. He then lowered his arms and hugged Komaeda by the waist, pulling him closer. And Komaeda lifted his arms to circle Hinata’s shoulders. If before he’d felt they were being too close from each other, now there wasn’t any distance between them, indeed.

He bit Komaeda’s lip, taking advantage of his open mouth so their tongues could meet. Although it was pretty cold outside, Komaeda’s mouth was warm and that was everything he needed. It felt so right that Hinata didn’t want to let go, he wanted the moment to last forever.

Anyway, they got separated for an instant, gasping for air. And then they stared at each other, their looks only showing they weren’t done yet. Hinata licked his own lips and went back to take control of Komaeda’s mouth. The latter didn’t seem to complain at all.

This time, the kiss went wilder. Even their teeth crashed clumsily, but it was okay for them. And when they pulled away again, Hinata couldn’t help staring at Komaeda, concerned. “Do you see anyone watching or anything?” They both directed their gazes towards their sides. “Guess not…” Hinata assured.

“Mmm…” Komaeda pressed his forehead against Hinata’s and sighed. “I don’t know, is this okay?”

And Hinata couldn’t help sighing too. “Of course it is…”

Then he felt how Komaeda leaned his head against his shoulder, and his breath against his neck felt hot… it was _great_. “Anyway, go to sleep. I can go back alone… It’s the least I can do after all the mess I’ve made.”

Hinata led one of his hands towards Komaeda’s wavy hair and started caressing it. “It’s okay… you didn’t do anything wrong.” Even if, indeed, he did. He only wanted Komaeda to stop having such low self-esteem.

“You said the opposite before, I can remember…” he chuckled against his shoulder.

“I was mad, but now I’m not. I was… _Everything_ was really confusing.” Then, Komaeda pulled away from him, while smiling carefree.

Although Hinata didn’t want to take his hands off Komaeda’s slim waist and hair, he didn’t have any other choice. Soon he started missing the contact… “I won’t confuse you anymore, I promise.” Komaeda suddenly said.

“W-What are you…?” and all of a sudden, he gave Hinata a brief kiss on the cheek before starting to walk away. “Hey… Komaeda!”

He turned around, a few meters from Hinata now. “Don’t worry about me, Hinata-kun. You have your dorm there, don’t you? So… goodnight.”

And then, Hinata didn’t even have the time to say anything else. Komaeda disappeared from his sight, and he simply couldn’t feel emptier.

 

* * *

 

Obviously it was amazing having a full room all by himself (since he didn’t have a roommate to begin with), but it wasn’t so good being all alone that night. It just felt really lonely…

As soon as he reached the bed, he didn’t even care to pull off the sheets to get inside. He just lay there, staring at the dark ceiling. It seemed it was going to be difficult to sleep after all the events that had happened.

Because, in the end, he didn’t want to forget them.

All of a sudden, he had the idea of taking his phone to see if any of his friends had texted him or anything. Indeed, he had a message from Kuzuryuu, asking if he was fine and Hinata just answered it was just that Komaeda was really tired after a long day of work, which was true in the end.

Then, he realized he had a message from Nanami too. He was expecting something like that, to be honest.

“How did it go? Did you finally figure out what was happening to him?” that was the message from her.

And Hinata had to be sincere. “He likes me.”

A few seconds after Nanami saw the message, she answered. “So that’s what it was… I was right then, I guess.”

_Oh… So that was what she wanted me to figure out? What an idiot…_

Was it really that clear? It sure was, but maybe he didn’t want to acknowledge it since Komaeda was a guy too. If he had been a girl, Hinata would have figured it out a little faster perhaps. But now, Komaeda being a boy instead of a girl didn’t matter to him at all anyway. There was no point in comparing.

“And what do you think about that?” was Nanami’s next text and Hinata stopped to think a little bit before answering.

So, when he started typing, he was sure of his words. “I think I like him too.”

 

* * *

 

It was Monday afternoon, Hinata could finally get out from that boring Biology class. Anyway, he fortunately shared it with Tsumiki so it could have been worse. She really seemed interested in that subject and could talk hours and hours about it, Hinata would listen to her even if he didn’t like it much, of course.

As soon as they were outside, on campus, they found Nanami waiting for them not far from the building entrance. When she saw them, she stopped playing with her PSP and smiled. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Hinata rubbed at the back of his neck, it felt awkward. The last time he talked to Nanami was after _that_ night…

He was thinking about it during the whole weekend, and that wasn’t right at all. He even regretted not asking Komaeda for his mobile number, and now it was too late for it.

_“I won’t confuse you anymore, I promise.”_

Those words resounded inside Hinata’s mind at every hour, every single day, and it was maybe the reason he couldn’t focus on class. He was lucky Tsumiki didn’t mind giving him a hand with homework, but he couldn’t keep on living like that.

He just wanted to forget about that crazy night, about all the confusing things that happened there. However, having Nanami just in front of him right now wouldn’t let him escape from that reality easily.

For now, she was listening to Tsumiki talk about the class, and Hinata took advantage of it to give a glance at the whole campus, maybe he could go and stay with one of his other friends and he wouldn’t have to deal with Nanami asking him a thousand questions about things he simply didn’t feel like talking. Before doing that, he needed to get over Komaeda.

He searched with his eyes, maybe he was lucky and found Souda or Kuzuryuu around there. But that wasn’t the case. He just saw Sonia, but as soon as he thought that it could probably be a good escape, he noticed she wasn’t alone.

She was sat on the ground playing with some hamsters and a guy, who didn’t look very friendly at first sight, was seated by her side. He had black hair and wore a purple scarf, and it wasn’t like Hinata could see much from that distance but he assume that guy was the one who everyone was talking about, the one who was probably more than friends with Sonia.

He smiled at the sight and then returned his gaze towards Nanami, who was still talking with Tusmiki. Shortly afterwards, she faced him. “So… How are you?” she inquired, smiling.

“Hmm… Fine, I guess.” Hinata chuckled, a little bit nervous.

“A-Are you sure you’re okay? You were q-quite distracted today at class.” Tsumiki added.

“Is that true?” Nanami showed concern and became silent, as if thinking about something. “Mmm…” And then she smiled again, adjusted the backpack on her shoulders and started walking away from where they were.

“Huh? Nanami, where are we going?” Hinata was kind of confused, and was left alone since Tsumiki followed the other girl as if she were stuck to her.

Then, Nanami turned around and faced Hinata again. “Let’s have some coffee.”

She sounded really serene while saying that, but Hinata’s heart stopped for a second. Was she doing that on purpose?

Of course she was…

In fact, she knew _where_ they could drink coffee and Hinata knew why he didn’t want to go _there_ …

_“I won’t confuse you anymore, I promise.”_

What if Komaeda didn’t want to see him anymore? Wouldn’t it be rude if Hinata went after him?

So many questions in his head made him want to throw up, just when he thought he was having his feelings on control… Well, to begin with, he never had his feelings on control.

Not having other choice, he followed Nanami and Tsumiki and started walking towards that place.

“Have you seen him again?” Hinata knew Nanami would start asking.

“No…” that response, full of regret, surprised her.

“Why? Did something wrong happened or anything?”

He shook his head in denial. “Nothing happened, it’s just… I don’t know if it’d be okay to see him again, it’s weird.” It was, indeed. Every single time he thought about meeting Komaeda again, his voice flooded in his mind and tore his thoughts apart.

_“I won’t confuse you anymore, I promise.”_

“Mmm…” but Nanami didn’t care too much about his excuses, and continued walking towards the coffee shop as if he’d said nothing against it. In the other hand, Tsumiki seemed really lost in the conversation but she wouldn’t ask anything about it either.

If he had been capable, he would have walked slower. But he had to follow the two girls side by side and they were walking at a quick pace. Of course, he was the one nervous after all…

He felt his heart stop when Nanami pushed the entrance door of the shop open. How many times had Hinata’s heart stopped by now? He was probably about to have a heart attack.

They found a table and he avoided all visual contact at the counter where all the waiters were working. He wasn’t calmed at all, but at least he got some relief when a waitress he didn’t know came to attend them.

_Damn…_

Was Komaeda even there? He didn’t even want to see, and almost forgot to ask the waitress about an order for himself. Nanami ended up talking for him. “You don’t have to feel so nervous, it’s not the first time that you come here.” She reassured.

“I know, but still…” he rested both arms on the table and buried his face onto them.

“I’m sure he would be glad to see you again, don’t you think so?” when he lifted his head a little bit, he found Nanami smiling at him.

“Mmm…” was his response.

“You’re not even trying.”

She was right. Komaeda only showed that, in the end, none of them two were being rejected. So… why was he avoiding him?

_“I won’t confuse you anymore, I promise.”_

Oh, yeah, because of _that_. Even though he would like to spend time with Komaeda again, he didn’t know how he would react to that. Plus, Hinata was still ashamed and didn’t have the guts to talk to him first. After all, the white haired boy was the one who started everything about them.

“Anyways…” Hinata straightened up. “How did your game tournament go?” He asked, without caring if the question could have good and bad answers. He just needed a change of topic.

“Didn’t I tell you? I won.” Her smile was brighter now, and Tsumiki, who was seated next to her, smiled too.

“You didn’t tell me...” Hinata chuckled nervously. Because maybe Nanami said it but he hadn’t been paying attention. His head had been too much in the clouds lately.

“Well, this Saturday is the last tournament. I have to go to a huge event and I’ll play live.” Hinata widened his eyes, surprised, while Nanami was taking her gaming console from her backpack to start playing again.

“L-Live? In front of lots of people? Wow, that’s great.” He finally could show a genuine smile.

“I was going to ask you to come to see me, if you wanted to.” Now she was paying more attention to her game than to what the other would answer.

“I-I’m going to be there too,” Tsumiki said and nodded.

“That’s why I was going to tell you to bring someone else if you wanted to go.” Nanami lifted her gaze and stared at Hinata, finding him having a pretty terrified look on his face.

“A-Are you suggesting that I…? Look, I’ve had enough with what Souda did to me last Friday and you know it.” Hinata tried to sound funny and serene, but he ended up sounding forced.

“I’m telling you with a week of anticipation. Plus, you can bring anyone you’d like to. If you want to bring Souda, that’d be cool enough.”

Well, yes, this time there wasn’t a rule implying he had to have an _actual_ date. But, anyway, if he had to invite someone…

For the first time since he entered the place, he directed his gaze towards the counter and searched for Komaeda with his eyes. It wasn’t difficult at all, how not to notice such hair!

He smiled as soon as he recognized him and turned his gaze back to the table. In front of him, Nanami was playing with her PSP and Tsumiki was hugging her arm and resting her head on the other girl’s shoulder.

Maybe… it wasn’t a bad idea.

With trembling legs, he stood up. And Nanami seemed to be surprised because she even asked him where he was going. Anyway, Hinata paid no attention and carried on his way towards the counter remaining silent.

When he reached there, a few waitresses glanced at him showing a confused expression on their faces. But he didn’t care, he was waiting for the cute white haired waiter to finish preparing a coffee and to turn around to face him. God, Hinata wanted to see him again, immediately. He felt that he was about to forget his face, the one which was colourless but not for his eyes.

Then, Komaeda turned around having two cups of coffee in hands. And his startled expression when he saw Hinata was utterly worth it. “Hinata-kun… what a hopeful surprise.”

It was nice to see him smiling again, his pale cheeks were a bit flushed and Hinata liked that view. “Hey…” he leaned against the counter, placing his arms on it, maybe he could hide how much he was shaking that way.

“What brings you here today? I thought you wouldn’t come back again, to be honest.” He placed the two coffees on the counter and then directed his whole attention to Hinata, killing time until he had another order to take care of.

“Why wouldn’t I come back? Plus… I-I want to ask you something.” His voice lowered its tone, he couldn’t help feeling embarrassed.

“Uhm? I’m listening.” Anyway, Komaeda’s carefree smile was making everything easier.

“My best friend just told me she has a videogame tournament this weekend,” he pointed with his head towards where Nanami and Tusmiki were seated. “She has a date for that day, but I don’t…”

“Won’t she be playing? Her date will be all alone while she’s competing, don’t you think?” It was terrifying how right Komaeda was, and how he totally ruined Hinata’s attempt of inviting him on a date.

Again, he turned around to glare at Nanami…

_So… she just wanted me to invite him?_

_…_

_Crap._

“Don’t feel bad, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda patted him on the shoulder. “You won’t be alone in the end, you see?”

“Anyway…” he swallowed hard, Komaeda’s hand on his shoulder felt extremely _good_. He missed having him close... “I want you to come with me, would you?”

He was about to have a heart attack, and hoped Komaeda didn’t notice. He just wanted him to answer, with anything. Then, he smiled. “A fake date again?”

“No… this one is for real, I want to go out with _you_.” Red rose to his cheeks, he wanted to run away _so_ much. But, at the same time, Komaeda’s face was in the same conditions. If he weren’t at his job, Hinata would take the white haired boy’s hand and assure him he really meant what he was saying. “What do you think? And I won’t let you say stuff like that you ‘don’t deserve this’ or anything like that. I… I really want to hang out with you… To be on an _actual_ date.”

Komaeda’s smile was different from any other Hinata could have ever seen before. It wasn’t just a carefree grin, it felt more like… like it was full of happiness. And, with that, Hinata felt at ease.

Not only because of that, though, Komaeda’s grey eyes were shining brightly and his cheeks remained blushed. It was such a cute view, Hinata wanted to cross the counter and kiss him just like he did a few days ago.

“So… what do you think?” he felt a little more confident now, knowing Komaeda seemed to be the nervous one now.

After a few seconds in which Komaeda seemed wordless, he finally decided to lean slowly against the counter and then whispered to Hinata’s ear. “Let’s just have fun together, Hinata-kun.”


End file.
